Star Island - Carl Hiaasen

Carl Hiaasen books are an acquired taste, but if you have a bit of a twisted sense of humour you will find them original and laugh out loud funny. Star Island is no exception and is a tale of good and evil set in the steamy, tropical heat of Miami and the Florida Keys. Low life paparazzi Claude 'Bang' Abbott has few work ethics, no morals and a realistic view of his attractiveness to the female race.  He spends his life taking pictures of celebrities in compromising situations and, as he views any star as just a way to make a quick buck, no one is more surprised than him when he becomes dangerously obsessed with a wild young starlet called Cherry Pye, who has more than a few unhealthy habits that are spiralling out of control. And after all, how often does a guy like Bang get his first taste of the mile high club in a private jet with said hot, blonde pop singer?

But the course of true obsession is not destined to run smoothly for poor Bang, as unbeknownst to him the wayward Cherry Pye has a body double, an unknown actress called Ann DaLusia, who takes her place at public engagements when Cherry's wild lifestyle puts her out of action.  Bang makes one of the worst mistakes of his life when he kidnaps the wrong Cherry Pye and finds that he has no famous starlet and one very unamused Ann DaLusia on his hands, setting off a chain of unfortunate events that leads to the loss of his prized cameras and blackberry, damage to several of his body parts and  his dreams and aspirations plunging into a terminally downward spiral.

For Ann DaLusia proves to be not your average kidnap victim, giving Bang more than a run for his money.  Also he is blissfully unaware that after a crash on a dark, lonely road in the Keys, that Ann has acquired a most unusual knight in shining armour, who will stop at nothing to rescue her and keep her safe, even taking to the ocean waves and braving the crowded streets of Miami, which he hates, on her behalf.

Star Island is a very funny book, set in the murky underbelly of Florida society and the tawdry celebrity scene.  Hiaasen has a knack for making his character's outrageous behaviour seem normal, and getting you to believe that it is an everyday occurrence to meet someone with a weed strimmer for an arm prosthesis  or an ex state governor living in a camp in the swamps and living off road kill.  It is a cleverly wrought story of plots, manipulation and counter-plots, where many of the characters are more than happy to lie, cheat and even kill to further their own plans.  But somehow right manages to triumph over evil and many of the characters in Star Island end up finding out the hard way that crime does not pay and that karma always catches up with you in the end.

Star Island brings back some of Carl Hiaasen's most memorable characters such as Skink, aka Clint Tyree, the former Governor of Florida who takes Ann DaLusia under his wing and Chemo, former bent mortgage adviser and prison inmate turned celebrity bodyguard who wields his strimmer prosthesis to great effect.

The great thing about Hiaasen's characters and plots is that they are so implausibly over the top that they become believable and you very quickly fall into his wacky world of tarnished celebrities, corrupt politicians and petty criminals. Hiaasen's universe is a twisted but seductive place where the best laid plans and the highest of intentions are always going astray.  And I promise that you will never look at a sea urchin in the same way again!

To go with Star Island's tropical theme, I suggest that you mix yourself a pitcher of frozen margaritas and chuck some jumbo prawns on the barbie, as this is a great book to chuckle through as you are sunning yourself on a lounger by the pool.

As I now have a new rating system, I award Star island 4 sandwiches out of five for being such a ridiculously funny, off the wall read.

Ghost Song - Sarah Rayne

Do you like secrets?  Well, if you are a fan of secrets, then you will love Ghost Song by Sarah Rayne as it is a book much more about the secrets people keep and how they can shape and corrode people's lives than it is a ghost story. Set both in the present day and in the feverish weeks that led up to the outbreak of the First World War in 1914, Ghost Story is set around a mysterious old music hall and theatre called the Tarleton.  The Tarleton has been closed down since the first days of the Great War, and is bound by a strange trust that ensures that it will not be opened again until fifty years after the death of the last owner.

But although the Tarleton is shut, it is still a building that intrigues people and makes them want to discover its secrets.  Robert Fallon was a pragmatic, down to earth surveyor until he undertakes a routine inspection of the old music hall to ensure that it is still structurally sound.  Teaming up with Hilary Bryant, who undertakes research into Victorian and Edwardian theatre for the Harlequin Society who administer the Tarleton, Robert discovers that the Tarleton holds some disturbing secrets.  Why was a wall built to section off part of the cellar and the trapdoor on the stage nailed down so that there was no way of accessing it?  And who was the mysterious figure who was sometimes glimpsed muffled up in an old hat and great coat, softly singing old music hall tunes?

As Robert and Hilary begin to uncover some of the Tarleton's history, we are taken back to 1914 where Toby Chance runs the Tarleton and writes and performs popular songs with his partner, Frank Douglas.  It is an unusually hot spring, the theatre is buzzing, but the clouds of war are beginning to build on the horizon. Toby is introduced to a shadowy organisation called Tranz by a lover, and is drawn in so thoroughly that he agrees to travel to far off Sarajevo to form part of a protest against Hapsburg imperialism.  He was at first fascinated and then repelled by the movement's charismatic leader Petrovnic, and is unaware of Petrovnic's dark past and the role that he had played in Toby's parents lives.

So as Toby heads into trouble in 1914, so do Robert and Hilary as they continue their investigation.  Hilary's boss Shona Seymour has her own secrets to hide and her own reasons for being fearful of the Tarleton being opened up again, and why is Caley Merrick so obsessed by the theatre's history and the players who once performed there?

Not a book for those who are afraid to go into dark rooms alone, as Ghost Song descends into some very dark places indeed.  Will Toby be able to escape the danger that he is in and see through the smoke and mirrors before it is too late?  Will the discoveries that he makes in the Tarleton threaten Robert's career and is Hilary in more danger from someone she trusts than she could ever imagine?

One to read eating a hearty Edwardian meal such as pie and mash or bangers and mash, or even jellied eels if you can stomach them.  Wash them down with a few glasses of beer, as the secrets come tumbling out and the story of the Tarleton is told.  This is a book rich in historical details, and lovingly recreates the world of the Edwardian Music Hall, which was glamorous and colourful on the surface, and slightly tawdry and earthy underneath.

The Genesis Secret - Tom Knox

Dan Brown has a lot to answer for, and like so many books in this genre, The Genesis Secret by Tom Knox opens with the discovery of an extremely violent and bloody ritualistic murder.  It almost seems that the authors are in some kind of competition to see who can think up the most revolting, slow and painful way to die.  So, you have been warned, this is not a novel for the squeamish.  Or you can do what I do, which is skim read the really nasty bits and try not to miss anything important to the story.

So here we go.  The Genesis Secret opens with the discovery of an extremely bizarre. ritualistic murder in Benjamin Franklin's house in London, which is now a museum.  It looks as though the caretaker disturbed a group of burglars digging in the cellar; but why the extreme violence? DCI Forrester has never seen a case like this, and it soon escalates as another body is found in the Isle Of Man that has been ritually murdered.

Meanwhile Rob Luttrell is sent to the arid wastelands of Turkey to write an archaeological piece on a mysterious site called Gobekli Tepe, the oldest temple ever excavated.  Gobekli Tepe is a haunted place, a massive stone temple that had been deliberately buried in tons of earth 8,000 years ago.  The question is why? As Luttrell digs a bit deeper to get a more interesting story, he becomes aware of tensions between the Kurdish workers and the archaeologists. Also the leader of the dig has been behaving oddly, digging alone in the middle of the night, keeping secrets from his staff.  When Breitner is killed in what could just be a nast accident or maybe murder, Luttrell joins forces with Christine, an attractive French archaeologist, to find out what secrets Breitner has been keeping that people considered important enough to kill for.

As the strange, ritual killings continue in England it becomes clear that the killers are looking for something. The life of Luttrell and his loved ones and the highly intelligent, but psychotic, leader of the gang become enmeshed after Luttrell publishes a piece in the paper on his amazing experiences and finding in Kurdistan.  Luttrell has uncovered a secret that the gang want to remain buried forever, and don't mind what they have to do to achieve their goal. The question is can Luttrell move quickly enough to protect Christine and his daughter from suffering the same fate as the gang's other victims. Can he get to the bottom of what has remained a secret for thousands of years? Leaving the police behind he returns to Turkey, following his own instincts and leads, but can he do enough to save his daughter and keep himself and Christine alive?

As to what to have for lunch when reading this book, you might find it best to read on an empty stomach.  Have a large glass of water handy or maybe a small glass of brandy.  The Genesis Secret is a good, pacy thriller, with lots of interesting historical facts thrown in.  But there are some very nasty murders, so to be avoided if you have a very vivid imagination!

The Crocodile on the Sandbank - Elizabeth Peters

'The Crocodile on The Sandbank' is the first of a series of books by Elizabeth Peters that introduces us to the indomitable Amelia Peabody. The saga starts in 1884 when Amelia decides to use the money that she has inherited to travel to Egypt and indulge in her interest in excavating and Egyptology. Amelia is a straight-talking, no-nonsense kind of woman, who carries a trusty parasol to great purpose. Whilst on her journey through Europe to Egypt, she rescues a young lady called Evelyn Barton-Forbes. Evelyn, who is a much more ethereal, 'shrinking violet' type of young lady is duly appointed as Amelia's companion and the pair become devoted friends, despite or because of the fact that Amelia fondly bullies her and interferes in her life!

When they arrive in Egypt, the murder mystery unfolds as they encounter strange happenings, ancient mummies that roam the night, and the two Emerson brothers, Radcliffe and Walter.

At 32, Amelia believes that she is set to be a spinster for life, but can the inscrutable and irascible Radcliffe Emerson melt her heart? Will romance also blossom for Evelyn and Walter? Will the mysteries be solved and will their little party survive the dangers that beset them?

One to be read while taking afternoon tea at the British Museum, while one knows that one should really be studying their hieroglyphics texts! Cucumber sandwich anyone?

The Nostradamus Prophecies - Mario Reading

The Nostradamus Prophecies by Mario Reading is based on the surmise that Nostradamus wrote a thousand prophecies but that only 942 have survived to the present day. The action starts when a gypsy named Babel Samana is trying to raise money by selling a manuscript containing missing verses of Nostradamus; the problem he has is that he doesn't actually have the manuscript but only some clues as to its whereabouts. Unfortunately for Babel one of the prospective buyers that he attracted was Achor Bale, a man who is a member of a secret society that is sworn to support the 'Three Antichrists' predicted by Nostradamus - Napoleon, Hitler and one still to come. And Achor Bale is also a cruel, ruthless man who will kill and torture mercilessly to achieve his objectives.

The other bidder is American writer, Adam Sabir who is just looking for a boost to his writing career. Samana entangles Sabir by binding him by blood in a cafe and giving him a couple of clues, before he meets his grisly end at the hands of Bale.

Sabir suddenly finds himself on the run, suspected of the murder of Samana, and following the clues he finds himself entwined in the lives of the gypsies, as the blood brother and new protector of the fiery Yola and her cousin Alexi. The trio must then try to interpret the clues they find and follow the trail to the missing Nostradamus prophecies, always trying to outwit the merciless, indefatigable Bale, and stay one step ahead of the police in the form of Calque and Macron.

Sabir has to immerse himself in gypsy cultures and learn their customs and their history to survive. The plot is very fast moving and moves through France and Spain, and is fairly violent, courtesy of the merciless Achor Bale.

Will Sabir and the gypsies manage to stay one step ahead of Bale, or will they suffer the same painful fate as Babel? Good read for the plane or by a pool - try a white wine spritzer and a ham salad on white!

The Killing Hour - Lisa Gardner

The temperature is going up in Virginia and GBI Special Agent Mac McCormack is getting increasingly worried. The serial killer known as the 'Eco-Killer', who murders young girls in pairs during heatwaves in Georgia, had been quiet for several years, but recently Mac has been getting strange calls warning him that he will strike again.

Kimberley Quincy is a new agent at the FBI Academy at Quantico, trying to forge a new career for herself and forget her troubled, violent past. Kimberley and Mac run into each other in the Quantico grounds and are drawn back together when Kimberley discovers the body of a young girl, with the mouth sewn up with black yarn, when out on a training run.

Kimberley risks her fledgling career with the FBI, to help Mac find the murdered girl's friend and catch the killer before he can take another pair of girls. Their search takes them deep into some of the most inhospitable terrain in Virginia's National Parks, pushing them to their physical limits. Will they be able to interpret the clues the killer left behind in time to save the missing girl? Is the killer closer to home than they realise?

Very descriptive, and full of action, the book makes you really feel like you are in the steam bath of a Virgina heatwave. There are several twists in the story, although some of them are very easy to spot. Not one for people with a weak stomach, or people who do not like snake and insects!

Read with an ice-cold pitcher of lemonade and a big bowl of salty crisps!

Scott Mariani - The Heretic’s Treasure

Ben Hope has left the SAS, and after the tragedy of his wife’s death, has settled down to run a training school for hostage retrieval, leaving his old life behind him. His ordered existence is thrown into disarray when he receives a phone call from a man to whom he owes a great debt; a man who is now calling that debt in.

Ben is torn, but Colonel Harry Paxton had once saved his life in the jungles of Sierra Leone, so he answers the call and is asked to track down the killers of Harry’s scholarly son in Egypt. But is everything as it seems? What was it that Morgan Paxton was looking for in the sands of the Egyptian desert? Was it something worth killing him for?

Ben soon realises that he can trust nobody; and the action moves from Italy, to Egypt, to Scotland and the Sudan. He soon learns that a number of people want the treasure of the heretic pharaoh Akhenaten that Morgan Paxton was seeking and will stop at nothing to get it. Even the woman he loves may not be who she seems to be.

This is a fast moving novel, with plenty of action and a high body count. Lots of severed limbs and heavy duty weapons! Definitely one the lads will enjoy. It is one of a series featuring Ben Hope, so if you enjoy it, you can carry on reading.

Good holiday book – around the pool, on the beach or on the plane. I’d say it would go down well with a pint of lager and a cheese and pickle on brown.

Warning Rant – this is my little rant, but who else is getting fed up with book covers that say ‘fans of Dan Brown will love this’. It’s not like Dan Brown is a particularly good author. He was lucky enough to have one phenomenally best selling book, but I’m sure that not every writer out there is trying to emulate him! We’ll see what his new offering is like when it’s released in the autumn.

The Watchman - Robert Crais

I have never read any of Robert Crais's books before, but I really enjoyed 'The Watchman'. Set in the broiling heat of Los Angeles, Joe Pike must accept a job as a bodyguard to a young, spoilt rich girl in return for help he had been given many years ago. His job is to keep Larkin Barkley alive, after she was involved in an accident in her car and saw somebody who did not want to be be seen or identified.

Keeping her safe might be the hardest job that Joe Pike has ever had to undertake, as whoever is searching for the girl seems to know where their secret location is everytime. Realising that he can trust nobody, not even the cops or FBI agents, he flees with Larkin and enlists the help of his old friend and colleague Elvis Cole. Joe realises that the only true way of buying Larkin's safety is turning hunter and finding his way through the maze of lies to find out why she is being targetted and who is the puppet master behind it all. In a race against time, where even Larkin's own father is telling lies and can't be trusted, can Joe Pike and Elvis Cole discover the truth and kill before they are all killed?

Action packed with a high body count, I think this is one the boys will like. Order a pint of bitter and some chips!

The Good Guy - Dean Koontz

Most of us enjoy a couple of beers or a wine or two after work occasionally (or regularly!), but when Tim Carrier sits down to enjoy a quiet beer one night, he will find that it will change his life forever! He enjoys having a chat with the people who come in the bar, but on this particular evening is taken aback when a nervous stranger hands him an envelope full of cash, and the photo and address of a beautiful woman and then leaves with the chilling words 'Ten thousand now. You get the rest when she's gone.'

Within a few minutes of his departure his place is taken by another stranger; the man who was obviously supposed to have been given the money and the details. A hired killer. What does Tim Carrier do? His split second decisions will have a shattering effect on his future. Does he find the strength and courage to do the right thing and save a stranger, risking his own life in the process? Or will he turn the other way and try and forget it all happened?

A tense and eerie thriller, where Tim finds that he really does need to be 'The Good Guy' if he is to help Linda Paquette and find the killer who proves to be much more than a hired gun. Even with the help of his friend from Homicide, Pete Santos, will he be able to save all their lives?

A couple of glasses of red to gulp at the scary bits and a large bowl of crisps are required to navigate this truly chilling tale!

Tutankhamun - Nick Drake

Tutankhamun by Nick Drake is the second outing for Rahotep, Medjay officer and super sleuth in Thebes in the time of Egypt's 18th Dynasty. Rahotep is summoned from his bed in the early hours of the morning to attend the unusually gruesome murder scene of a young man. When the murderer strikes again, along with his faithful assistant Khety, he has to try and get inside the head of the murderer and find out what is motivating him.

As events spiral out of control, Rahotep is once again sucked into the very heart of Egyptian political life and intrigue, when he is summoned by the young queen Ankhesenamun, wife of pharaoh Tutankhamun to discover who has been leaving gifts and messages in the palace designed to terrify the royal couple. She needs him to find out who is behind this campaign of terror and fast!

Can the events in the city of Thebes and those in the palace be connected? Which of the powerful courtiers surrounding the pharaoh and his queen are implicated? Will Rahotep only discover the information he is seeking too late to prevent a major tragedy?

An atmospheric and detail filled murder mystery adventure set in Ancient Egypt - get your hammock out in the sun, chill a nice bottle of dry white and fill a bowl with grapes as you disappear for a few hours into another time and ancient culture.